4.1.10

Using Parentheticals to Illustrate Character Thoughts

I'm just trying to get a better handle on my own skills here, but I'd say using parentheticals to illustrate what a character is thinking only works well when the dialogue and situation are totally different than or oppose the character's intent, thereby serving as a way to clarify actions.

For example, someone could say "I love you", but the parenthesis could read (glued to the T.V.). If the parenthetical weren't there, we'd simply think the character was saying what they meant, instead of their actions or demeanor revealing something deeper the author intended about the scene/relationship.

When looking at a screenplay's style, we also have to look at WHO wrote the script. I've read scripts by the Wachowskis, James Cameron, Chris Nolan, Tarantino, etc. - all wonderful writer/directors - and their pages were very detailed and full of black ink, which would be death to pre-pros like us as a sign of an amateur.

I've read other great writers who use parentheticals all over the place, have big speeches, lots of black ink, break other "rules", etc., but they're allowed because of their track records - people will read their scripts regardless. Since I'm not in those leagues yet, I'm not allowed those concessions. Not good or bad, that's just the way it is. 

When reading for style & format tips, I like to read PRODUCED specs by first/second time writers, usually because what they wrote was read and passed along for a reason. Aside from story and concept, their parentheticals and overall style worked well and were unobtrusive, which made them "readable". These scripts are lean and mean. The writers were hungry and their pages were sparse and easy on the eyes. When you read and write coverage for 30-some-odd scripts a week and my career depends in part on your comfort level, that becomes a major factor.

When polishing my latest spec I went through the entire script just looking for parentheticals that were unnecessary or where the same information could have been communicated in a different way and figured out ways to eliminate as many as possible. I whittled twenty-some-odd down to seven, which I believe makes the script read smoother and faster. What reader or development exec doesn't want that?

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